The Apartment Drama: Hand Washing Tutorials

I must admit that I have been sitting on this one for quite some time.  Is it funny enough? does it happen often enough that it’s worth mentioning?  It would seem that the answer to both of those questions is a resounding yes.  So there’s no sense in keeping you waiting any longer.


The pandemic has affected many people in many different ways.  Some of these effects may be irreversible.  Gene and I are both as vaccinated as we can get.  As everyone else is saying, vaccination is not enough.  This is true, there are many other things we can do to prevent COVID spread.  One such thing is hand washing.  Specifically, my hand washing.  It’s become a certain topic of interest for Gene over the past year.   Since it is of such great interest, my process is to pump once on the soap and wash for twenty seconds.  Gene happened to walk by while I was accomplishing this.  He said “That’s not really washing your hands.  You have to get them wet first and then use several pumps of soap with enough lather that I can see it from a distance…and wash your entire arm shafts too!”  He then proceeds to demonstrate how I should be washing my hands. “Twenty seconds is the bare minimum amount of time!  It should be at least thirty seconds!”  “Wash and dry your hands twice if you’ve been outside!” During the demonstration, he would talk through the steps as if I’d never washed my hands before.  Then he would get me to do it again while he watched and made disapproving remarks.  “It’s not good enough!”   “Ok, but I’m trying as hard as I can!”  I say as I pump half of the liquid soap container onto my hands, and let them scald in the hottest water, for spite.

“Don’t freak out!”  he would say.

“I’ll do whatever it takes to be clean.  It’s not easy to wash my hands with you looking over my shoulder.”  I replied.

“I just want to make sure you’re being COVID safe.  You’re not the only one who lives here.”  Gene remarked.

I have been through several tutorials since then.  They’re all the same, and he watches so intently, and then he gives his notes, with yet another visual demonstration.

“Why did you close the door while you were just washing your hands?”  Gene would ask.

“I need to lower the stakes just a little.  It’s hard for me to wash my hands, or even dishes, when I’m being watched over my shoulder and given constant feedback.”  I respond.

“By the way, I think we need to start drying our hands with paper towel, rather than regular towels.  It’s more sanitary.”  Gene decided.

There you have it.  The newest rule that I must remember in our fight against COVID 19.

Get your shots, folks.  Stop making out with strangers!   The only way we make this all go away is by doing small things every day in a spirit of togetherness.  This pandemic needs to end.  Nothing escapes the ever watchful eye of Gene.

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