Jonah Stream Of Consciousness

Hey Lord, it’s me, Jonah.  I know You know that already, but for the sake of folks watching I thought I’d give them some context.

You want me to what?  Go to Nineveh, AND tell the people that you’re mad at them?  They don’t like You, how do you think that they’ll respond to me?  They’ll tear me to shreds!  I hate being a prophet.  I always have to tell people things that they don’t want to hear, and then they hate me!  I don’t want to do this!

[Look at kids]

Have any of you ever felt the way I feel?
No?  Well, I’m not doing this!  I know what I’ll do.  I have to find myself a boat and get as far away from Nineveh as I possibly can.

[Run over to unsuspecting kids]

Hey!  where are you guys headed?  Tarshish?  That’s a far enough.  How much would it cost me to sail with you folks?  You know what?  I don’t care, I’ll pay whatever.  I just want out of here!  I’m running away from God because He told me to do something and I don’t want to do it. So this was the only logical solution I could come up with.   Thanks so much!

This is great!  I can hide in the bottom of this ship and nobody will bother me.  Not even God!  Now, it’s time for some serious sleep.

These waves are getting pretty intense.  Aw man!  Why is this guy trying so hard to wake me up?  I suppose I should get up, go up top, and see what’s going on.

Check out this rain!  Why are you guys all throwing dice and  staring at me?  Do you think I had something to do with this?

Ok… I need to confess something.  I am a Hebrew and I worship the Lord, the God of heaven, who made the sea and the dry land.  He’s not very happy with me right now.  Throw me over the side and the storm will stop.

They were awful quick about all that.  I should have taken those swimming lessons more seriously.

Hey!  That’s a big fish…

Well… It seems to have gotten rather dark.  Yet I’m still breathing.  The Lord must be involved in all of this for sure.  If He still wants to use me, He will save me from this dark pit, and the horrible smell.  Hey!  We seem to be stopping.

Light!  Land!  I didn’t think I’d get to see another day.  Who cares what I smell like at this point?

Hey Lord, It’s good to hear Your voice again.  You still want me to go to Nineveh?  If a fish can follow Your commands immediately, You’d think I’d be able to clue in the second time around.  Yes, I will go to Nineveh.  I certainly don’t want to go through that whole fish thing again.

Well, Lord, I went there and told them what you wanted me to say.  I told them “Forty more days and Nineveh will be overthrown.”  I couldn’t believe what happened next.  A fast was ordered and everyone, even the king, repented of their sins and changed how they were living. You’re still going to take them out though, aren’t you Lord?  I’ve got myself a front row seat, but not too close.  It’s been forty days.  Bring on the destruction!

What?  You’re not going to do that anymore?  That wasn’t part of the  original plan!  I knew this would happen!  I knew if they turned thier lives toward You, then you would show grace to them and not send destruction even though they had been so annoying in the past.

Oh, I suppose that is true.  You did create them too, so it would make sense that You would be as concerned for them as You have been for someone like me.  I’m sorry for how I acted Lord.  I guess I’ll have to wait til later to see a big light show.


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