Ted 3 Chapter 5: Metaphorical Quicksand

One Saturday morning, Ted and Nicole woke up in unison.  They were a team.  They did everything together.

“Hey Fatty!”  Ted said cheerfully.  “This is the day where we get to go shopping for all the baby stuff.  Isn’t that exciting?”

“You’re pushing your luck, little man.”  Nicole replied.

Perhaps that Seinfeld marathon the night before was causing Ted to dig a hole after all.  None the less, life was to continue more or less as planned.  This result was helpeTod significantly by the fact that Nicole decided not to kill Ted immediately.

They scarfed down breakfast, completing the rest of their morning routine in record time.  Diving into their Audi, Nicole stomped on the gas, and immediately the two found themselves in traffic.

“Aw man!” Ted snarled.  “This was one of the things we were trying to avoid.”

“Dude, chill!  We’ll get there!”  Nicole retorted.  Ted knew that she was still stewing over his brief fatty remark from earlier.  Nicole deftly drove through traffic and sooner than expected they arrived at Baby Mart.  The most coveted of all baby stores.  Ted and Nicole’s little girl was going to be off to a great start.

An expensive start.

Ted and Nicole found themselves face to face with a state of the art bassinet.  It could massage, rock, and heat their new born to an optimal temperature all for a one time price of $3,000.

“She’s only going to be using this bed for three months!  That’s a thousand dollars a month!”  Ted remarked.

“We are lawyers.”  Nicole reminded him.  “We can swing it.”

“Along with the $299 car seat, I don’t even know what regular car seats cost, and super expensive clothes she’s just going to grow out of in a few months.”  Ted mentioned.

“Do you want our little girl to be naked?”  Nicole asked.

Ted shook his head.

“Just be happy that we are buying all this stuff now, and not in six months when inflation makes our prices look like bargains.”

Ted nodded.  He understood just fine.  They spent the rest of the day purchasing anything they could think of that a baby would need.  It became a labou of love.  Ted should have thought of it that way from the start.

Ted and Nicole returned home fulfilled with what they were able to accomplish.

Not bad for a Saturday.


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