Six days later Lucifer, Dwight, and Oscar were frolicking in a vast expanse of grass, that was watered a perfectly healthy amount by underground streams, provided by The Lord. He said it was “very good.” Lucifer hated to agree with Him, but this time even he agreed God was right.
Lucifer scampered on all fours experiencing the fullness of creation for the very first time.
“This is so much better than Hell!” Dwight exclaimed.
“The Lord definitely knew what He was doing.” Oscar pondered.
“You will NOT talk about Him in such a positive manner! I’m in charge!” Lucifer retorted.
The Trio continued on through the vast expanse of the Lord’s garden.
Suddenly, there appeared before them a man and a woman. They were the first couple that the Lord had ever created. They were male and female, created in His image. Created to be like Him and enjoy friendship with Him forever. Not a burdensome master / slave relationship. A real, deep friendship.
“Hey fellas,” Lucifer said to Oscar and Dwight. “I’m going to go over there and try to convince them that I’m in charge here.”
“You think they’re going to buy that?” Dwight asked.
“You didn’t make any of this.” Oscar pointed out.
“I am in charge!” Lucifer screamed.
He scampered over to the couple. The man looked intimidating, so Lucifer approached the woman.
“Hey lady, what are you doing?”
Dwight and Oscar both turned away in embarrassment, even though they were hidden away in tall grass.
“I’m pretty good. Just looking at this one tree that the Lord told us not to eat fruit from. We can eat from all the other ones, but not this one.” The woman asked, not phased that a reptile like being was talking to her.
Lucifer replied, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden?”
“He said if we ate from this one, we would surely die.” The woman deadpanned.
“You will not certainly die,” Lucifer said to the woman. 5 “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
“Are you serious?” asked the woman. “I love learning!” She exclaimed.
The woman took a big bite of the fruit without much of any hesitation. She tossed another slice of fruit over to the man and he ate it too.
A reptilian smile crept over Lucifer’s face as he scampered away quietly. He had to go find Dwight and Oscar to tell them about the great thing he had accomplished.
***
“Hey guys!” Lucifer exclaimed. “Believe it or not, I just influenced two humans to do a thing the Lord told them not to.”
“No way!” Dwight swooned.
“That’s nuts.” Oscar mentioned.
“I convinced those two weirdos to do the one thing the Lord told them not to!” Lucifer said. “What a rush! I really am in charge!’
Suddenly the three heard loud footsteps in the garden and scampered away to a spot where they could observe without being observed so obviously.
“Are you sure you’re in charge.” Dwight deadpanned.
“Shut up, Dwight!” Lucifer said curtly. “Watch and listen.”
The footsteps belonged to the Lord Himself.
Lucifer scampered closer. He just had to see how this situation turned out.
The Lord called out to the man, “Where are you?”
“I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” The man replied.
“Who told you that you were naked?” The Lord scoffed. “You must have eaten from the one tree I told you not to.”
“The woman You made for me caused me to eat it. It’s not my fault!” The man whined.
“This is better than I ever expected.” Lucifer said giddily.
Then things went south for Lucifer.
“What have you done? asked the Lord of the woman.
“The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” The woman replied.
Turning to Lucifer, the Lord said,
“Cursed are you above all livestock
and all wild animals!
You will crawl on your belly
and you will eat dust
all the days of your life.
15 And I will put enmity
between you and the woman,
and between your offspring[a] and hers;
he will crush[b] your head,
and you will strike his heel.”
At this moment Lucifer felt the first, and worst, pain he had ever felt. His arms and legs were ripped off of him slowly to make a statement. Transforming Lucifer from a lizard like creature, to that of a snake. He didn’t like the idea of his head being crushed either.
Then the Lord brought consequences to the man and woman because of their sin. For the woman, child birth would become difficult. The man would have to work hard to get food.
The Lord then made clothes for them to cover their sin. The man and woman were not allowed to live in the garden anymore. The Lord sent them out to work the ground for food.
“I made them disobey Him and He still comes out the winner?” I don’t get this!” Lucifer gasped.
“I heard that.” The Lord replied. “I have a plan. I always win.”
Lucifer slithered back to Dwight and Oscar.
“You look different.” Oscar noted.
“You don’t have any legs.” Dwight said.
“It didn’t go well.” Lucifer said. “It would seem that the Lord is not pleased with me anymore.”
“What are you going to do now?” Oscar asked.
“Re group and figure out this whole influencing people thing. It almost worked. I have to perfect this skill. I may not be able to create anything, but convincing can be just as good.”
The trio returned to Hell to figure out the next move.