1 Peter 2:9
9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 10 Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.
A chosen people. Of all the people God can pick…he picked us too. I have trouble seeing myself as any sort of royalty. Perhaps the Lord will sort that one out for me down the road.
You are doing significant work for the King even if you can’t see it. If you feel like you don’t fit in, that’s how it’s supposed to feel anyway. Be honorable. It’s Jesus centered. Not us in the middle trying to do all these amazing things in ministry. We are making a bigger difference than we may ever see. We are to proclaim the excellencies of Christ. Not just talk about it. Jesus is offensive to a culture by whom He was not created. Everyone wants to understand truth differently. You used to be able to defend a position on Christ. Now kids are looking directly at your life and asking Is God good enough for me? Identity in Christ is caught more than it is taught.
Day 2
The morning speaker grew up in a Christian home, but later abandoned Jesus to pursue Alcohol and LGBTQ lifestyle. Later on she wanted to become a dude. She was not satisfied with that lifestyle even though she thought she would be. God was not finished with her. Through a Christian Alcohol rehab program she was able to be connected with Pastors who loved her like Jesus and walked with her through hard steps of becoming female again. She wanted to be under God’s authority. Not sacrificing truth in the effort to love her, and not giving up on her.
This is the first story I’ve heard of someone switching over and then switching back. Flies in the face of what you usually hear where once a person is a lesbian or trans gender they are a lesbian or trans gender forever and there’s no going back to how things used to be. Nothing is impossible for the Lord.
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Spiritual Disciplines
They take a lot longer to form in your youth group than you might have patience for. Everyone wants it to happen right away. People get sucked into the idea that spiritual disciplines are either all on them. That could get exhausting quickly. The other option is that spiritual disciplines are all up to God and we don’t actually have to do anything on our end. It’s not all up to you…and it’s not all up to God either. There’s a cooperation that occurs. God leads and initiates, we cooperate with the plan. There’s a tension between the two sides. That’s why Paul says to work out your own salvation, even though you’re not on your own. We need God to help us be like Christ and follow His lifestyle when He was here on earth. Be part of that community. God has a huge heart for revival and transformation. To see that you need long haul relationships with your students. Truth plus grace plus time equals growth.
Setbacks are normal. Jesus spent 8,000 hours with his disciples and there were still gaps.
Spiritual disciplines are caught, not taught. Can you say “follow me as I follow Christ?”
I don’t know…I introduced my youth group to Charlie the Unicorn, and I write silly comics about hippos that probably don’t even remotely lead people to Christ. Get to heaven…”Thanks for the comics, God.” God: *Facepalms* Lots to work on.
Practice praying and reading the Bible and other spiritual disciplines together. If there’s one you’re not great at, go on the journey with your youth as you all get better at whatever discipline that would be.
Spiritual disciplines, as you get into them, become less of “aw man I have to go to the dentist.” and more… “Cool, I get to do this!”
God’s heart for actual revival helps us see that we need the Holy Spirit. We are past the point of “reversing the decline” of people wanting to be in Church and follow Jesus as mere humans. This may not be a bad thing though since God is the one with the plan anyway. Then there would be no way to say “Look at us and what we did! …for Jesus of course…” Growth actually happens in the harder times of youth ministry. The parts where you would think there would be setbacks.
Students connect with God in different ways. The time schedule that works for you may not work for them, and that’s fine. Don’t force your schedule on them. You may need to change your schedule based on your season in life. They may have to do the same. That’s just fine. If you want to see more spiritual discipline, model it for your youth…but you don’t have to be a monk or anything. Sabbath is fulfilled by Jesus and is full of wisdom.
Some students will be hungrier than others to embrace spiritual disciplines than others. After all, Jesus had his 72 followers, his 12 disciples, and his inner circle of 3. If you end up with your own inner circle of 3 that’s great, but always keep the invitation open to the others. Just like Jesus.
The sweet spot is healthy relationships outside of the regular youth group time. Keep your Child Protection Policy in mind when you do these things. Gotta be on the up and up to maintain all of your differnt friendships with students and their parents. Your core students have safety and trust built up, but the same may not be said for the newer kids and their parents. Make sure there’s concent and everyone is on the same page as to what’s happening.
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Courage
Challenges that stop kids from having courage
- Broken Families
- Instablility
- They desperately want community and belonging
- Parents too quick to divorce because they think their kids want to see them happy over being together as a family
- Bullying
- You have to know what you want to do with your whole life right away.
- Pressure on women in particular on women to succeed. “You owe it to all women”
- Well meaning parents who all think their kid’s potential is limitless.
- Competition that ensues from the last point
- Everyone likes labels and division
- Identity confusion
- Behavioral issues
- Anxiety that comes from all of these things
Anxiety is up two fold since the pandemic according to the American Psychological Association. It was bad enough before that.
Kids are deeply stuck in drama of Jr. High and High school. The presenter told a story of a guy who accidentally had a bodily function around some other guys. He was then aggressively encouraged to explore being gay and whatever goes along with that…even though he wasn’t interested in any of that at all. So much unnecessary anxiety. Nobody wants to be vulnerable anymore because even that brings more anxiety and deflates the opportunities for courage. What if being vulnerable is how courage happens though?
We live in a culture of safe, risk averse spaces. Safe places have their good reasons for being for sure. Kids need to be able to be vulnerable when they want to without negative side effects. What if it’s more about being safe people as youth leaders?
- No touching
- No Bullying
- Confidentiality
- Respect challenges
Kids don’t invite their friends to youth group because they don’t trust those friends.
God grows us in challenging anxious places. What if anxiety is an invitation to lean on the Lord?
Youth leaders are humans too. Create courage and share your story.
A deep relationship with Jesus is not safe. It is full of courage though. There will always be a tension between safety and courage. You want to challenge students, but they won’t let you in if it’s not safe. Kids are deeply concerned with various societal issues of today. Ask questions. They are stepping into many different ideas of what society wants them to be.
Look at Moses for the start of courage.
Exodus 3:11 – 4:17
11 But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”
12 And God said, “I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you[b] will worship God on this mountain.”
13 Moses said to God, “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?”
14 God said to Moses, “I am who I am.[c] This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I am has sent me to you.’”
15 God also said to Moses, “Say to the Israelites, ‘The Lord,[d] the God of your fathers—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob—has sent me to you.’
“This is my name forever,
the name you shall call me
from generation to generation.16 “Go, assemble the elders of Israel and say to them, ‘The Lord, the God of your fathers—the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob—appeared to me and said: I have watched over you and have seen what has been done to you in Egypt. 17 And I have promised to bring you up out of your misery in Egypt into the land of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites—a land flowing with milk and honey.’
18 “The elders of Israel will listen to you. Then you and the elders are to go to the king of Egypt and say to him, ‘The Lord, the God of the Hebrews, has met with us. Let us take a three-day journey into the wilderness to offer sacrifices to the Lord our God.’ 19 But I know that the king of Egypt will not let you go unless a mighty hand compels him. 20 So I will stretch out my hand and strike the Egyptians with all the wonders that I will perform among them. After that, he will let you go.
21 “And I will make the Egyptians favorably disposed toward this people, so that when you leave you will not go empty-handed. 22 Every woman is to ask her neighbor and any woman living in her house for articles of silver and gold and for clothing, which you will put on your sons and daughters. And so you will plunder the Egyptians.”
Moses answered, “What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, ‘The Lord did not appear to you’?”
2 Then the Lord said to him, “What is that in your hand?”
“A staff,” he replied.
3 The Lord said, “Throw it on the ground.”
Moses threw it on the ground and it became a snake, and he ran from it. 4 Then the Lord said to him, “Reach out your hand and take it by the tail.” So Moses reached out and took hold of the snake and it turned back into a staff in his hand. 5 “This,” said the Lord, “is so that they may believe that the Lord, the God of their fathers—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob—has appeared to you.”
6 Then the Lord said, “Put your hand inside your cloak.” So Moses put his hand into his cloak, and when he took it out, the skin was leprous[a]—it had become as white as snow.
7 “Now put it back into your cloak,” he said. So Moses put his hand back into his cloak, and when he took it out, it was restored, like the rest of his flesh.
8 Then the Lord said, “If they do not believe you or pay attention to the first sign, they may believe the second. 9 But if they do not believe these two signs or listen to you, take some water from the Nile and pour it on the dry ground. The water you take from the river will become blood on the ground.”
10 Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”
11 The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? 12 Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”
13 But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.”
14 Then the Lord’s anger burned against Moses and he said, “What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you, and he will be glad to see you. 15 You shall speak to him and put words in his mouth; I will help both of you speak and will teach you what to do. 16 He will speak to the people for you, and it will be as if he were your mouth and as if you were God to him. 17 But take this staff in your hand so you can perform the signs with it.”
God wants courage over safety. He’s not about making our lives safe and predictable. Connection, community, and mission are all important things. They are not always safe. They take courage.
Anxious feedback loop:
- Who am I? defined by behavior and not Christ
- What’s going on in my life? Meaningful emotional challenges , vilifying emotion
- Anger, fear, and uncertanty.
- What’s going on in my life?
Forgetting about being made in the Image of God, and that identity is found in Christ.
Asking questions is good to get to the heart of the matter of what’s going on and causing a specific behavior in a student.
Care questions
Ask deeper questions than how’s it going?
Don’t fix the problem. Invite the conversation.
Exploration questions
They may deflect initially but if they know you care they may let you in.
Clarification questions
Always good to be on the same page.
Insight questions
Look at the whole story over the behaviour being presented Story > Behavior
Reflective questions
What was learned by going through the situation?
Directive questions
What happens next?
Pause before you jump. Often times kids are looking for the Father heart of God over a quick fix.
Always ask questions.
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Building The Disciple Relationship With A Teen
We want to invest in teens in impactful healthy ways.
Express care. How’s it going? It’s not always easy to go deep with a teen depending on how long you’ve known them. Challenge growth and set the bar high. Show them beyond what they think they can do. Don’t lead above your own head though. Show them the potential
“If God can do something with me, He can definitely do something with you too!”
Provide support
Power sharing within reason. Let them have responsibilities in youth group.
Depth of relationship comes after kids know you care.
I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
John 15:1-8
Abide in Christ. If you don’t, the results are clear.
Pruning can be painful but the results of more fruit after are worth it. We need to walk with students through the pruning times.
1 Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.
1 Corinthians 11:1
If your youth group has 12 kids and 1 wants to kill you…yours is a lot like Jesus’.
One person plants, another waters, but God is in charge of seeing it grow.
God gives us the tools for discipleship.
We teach the kids how to use them. Equipping them.
We partner with the parents since the parents are supposedly the main disciplers in the home. This builds credibility the more we build relationships with the parents too.
- Encourage reading scripture
- Prayer
- Serving Togehter
Serving together is not the best idea in hour 25 of a 30 hour famine though.
See them belong, believe, and understand.
Some questions.
Who are we discipling?
Who is discipling and mentoring us?
Safe Guards
Adult friends are different. You don’t have to be cool. Accountability. Work in groups. Child Protection Policy protects us too. Proactively work within it as you have your healthy discipling relationships.
Random Resource
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