Night after night the trio raged havoc on the city. They had indeed tried to make friends with the other animals, but it became apparrent that they would all be heading back to their homes, which were nowhere near where the deer were living. They also didn’t care for so…
Darnell, Michael, and James ran across fields and little dirt paths, through the thin lines of trees planted by people to make up for the urban sprawl they had caused. The three deer did not mind at this point. As they got closer they noticed the lights became more and…
“Where you at, boy!” Mom screamed. “It’s supper time. We are eating together like a family should. Even though it’s just two of us. That’s that!” No answer. Clearly Darnell had been stupid, avoiding all of her advice. Obviously he had sealed his fate in some cruel, early death. She…
The trio ran on and on. “Do you think we can go faster if we fart?” Michael asked. “Are you serious?” James asked right back. “Only one way to find out.” Darnell said. Needless to say, they stank up the place, even though there was so much open air. They…
“You need to eat lots of grass to keep your strength up.” Mom said. “A deer is only as good as the speed at which he can run.” Darnell chomped and chomped on grass while also drinking water from a nearby stream. After a while, Darnell felt immense pressure in…
“Why’d you have to be so mean and force me to walk and talk so fast?” Desmond asked. “I was doing it for your safety.” Mom replied. “I’m just a baby.” Darnell moaned. “Deer must grow up immediately. If you had not learned to walk right away, a hunter would…
The black darkness was quiet. As black as black could be. The sensation of floating. The sensation of contentedness, but to what? That was a mystery. For now the only thing to do was to float in this fleshy cocoon. Perfectly warm. Perfectly happy. Suddenly, there was screaming, and pressure. …
Oh no, he’s writing another animal story! It’s not enough with Trash Teeth, Urban Chicken short stories, and his Insecure Hippo comics. Surely other people have written stories about deer. Why would he bother? Why does he keep boiling his animal characters down to one trait each? Why? you ask. …