Monkey Business

There has been a recent push around the world to give monkeys and other animals equal status with humans.  Everyone is all pumped up about this, but like most new ideas, nobody has thought anything through.

Think about the whole idea of monkeys having equal rights with humans.  By endorsing this position a person would be encouraging all monkeys to be exactly the same as humans with all the same rights and privileges.  I understand that this is all in an effort to keep monkeys and other animals from being abused.  However, there is another aspect of the human experience that these activists have failed to take into account.

That aspect is human responsibility.

In order for these monkeys etc. to really attain full equal human status, they must take on all human responsibilities as well.  These include but certainly are not limited to holding down a decent job, earning an adequate income to support monkey dependents, paying all income tax, property tax insurance, and other bills as necessary.  They must also vote and perform other civic duties as required.

I don’t understand how the property tax would work  unless the rules on what constitutes a property throughout the world are significantly loosened, especially in industrialized countries.

And how on earth would a monkey or any other animal be able to get past an interview?   We must not make the process any easier on the monkeys than the humans, we cannot play favourites.  How would they hold down jobs and make equal human contributions to society.

Can you imagine a monkey trying to vote?  It’s a circus enough as it is.

There are so many other practical reasons why monkeys becoming humans will not work.  Now, if you will indulge me for a moment longer, I will talk about the theological side to this whole deal.

I’ll keep this part short and sweet, because it really is simple.

God made everything that exists in our experience called life, He has a purpose for everything He has made.  God created humans and monkeys for different purposes.  He gave humans much more responsibility than monkeys and we glorify God by living our lives in ways that please Him.  The whole point of living is to glorify God.  Monkeys glorify God simply by being monkeys.

So…to sum up.  Monkeys and humans are different and monkeys would not pursue equality with humans on their own, so we humans should not be trying to give it to them.

My simple solution to the problem would be this.  Let’s not abuse the monkeys and just let them be monkeys.  No need to bring a bunch of politics into this situation.

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